3 years ago:
I don’t think I realised how overweight I was back then!



(I’m the one wearing the glasses!)



My mindset, 3 years ago, was so wrong, so damaging, so destructive.


I was passive, void of self-discipline. I had let myself go!


I wasn’t controlling any aspects of my life, I wasn’t even fire-fighting, I was simply being washed away by the tides and currents of life’s vagaries.


I wasn’t conscious of it but I had, to all intents and purposes, surrendered to the whims of life and what I look like in that photo of 3 years ago, it reflects the certainty and predictability of that mental vacancy.


I was on the ropes, I was being pummelled, I clearly didn’t care, I must have been numb, I wasn’t fighting back. I didn’t even know that it was happening and that was the problem!



The changes I made to my diet, the fact that I started running, those lifestyle alterations were/are the result of a mindset change. I had to take control, change from being passive to active, to a state of mind which allowed me to decide my itinerary rather than having it foisted upon me. Of course, there are times when the currents of life do push us back, despite our best efforts, but I was being buffeted, pushed back, by 1mph winds!



The starting point:


wake up!


Be truthful and honest with yourself, ask yourself if you are happy and if you feel in control of your life. If you don’t feel that you are in control of your life, you won’t be able to actively effect any changes.


Become aware,


aware of who you are,


what you are now,


what you want to be,


where you are now,


where you want to be,


what you are doing now,


what you aren’t doing that you should be doing,


what you want to do,


become aware of what you are eating, and what you aren’t eating,


become aware of how little sleep you might be getting and how poor the quality of that sleep might be,


become aware of how you are living your life 24/7.



I’m not going to say that it’s easy – it’s not, but how I am today, the sense of empowerment that comes from seeing and, much more importantly, feeling, the results of the effort, it makes it all worthwhile.


Tel Aviv Half-Marathon, Friday 23 February 2018


As someone who lives with clinical depression, I have to ‘fight’ every day to stay on top, to keep hold of the reins, but everyone has something in their lives which makes their battles personal.

I believe that I have built up my ‘self concept’ and boosted my inner strength to the extent that I am now better able to defend myself when the black dog of depression starts nipping at my heals, when those vagaries of life step back into the ring to go a round or two with me.

I don’t, nor will I, win every round but I’m in a better physical and mental state to ensure, as best I can, that I won’t lose the fight. There are no guarantees in life – all we can do is stack the odds in our favour and do everything we can to ensure that whilst we’re here and physically and mentally able to, we maximise the quality of our lives.


My meds don’t live my life for me, they ‘merely’ enable me to live my life.


Say it – and believe it!


“Yes, I can!”

“I will do it!”

“I must do it!”




Twitter: @jamesgould18

Instagram: kobygould1

Facebook: @kobygouldtv

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