I have to stop this, calorie-counting and protein-counting. Even chewing gum and the splash of milk in my coffee, they’re in the count!

I have ‘OCD‘ (‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – though my youngest, when approx 12 years old, he thought it stood for ‘Obsessive Cleaning Disturbance’: children see things, they are very aware, conscious of, what’s going on around them!), that is what I think this is, a symptom, a manifestation, of my OCD, I don’t think it’s part of an eating-disorder per se.

This is an example of OCD. A little extra cleaning or checking, that is not a manifestation of OCD.

People whose behaviour is life-restricting, people who behave in ways which affect their ability to function, they may have OCD.

Everything I do during the day, working, playing, resting, watching tele, reading, listening to music, it’s all under the umbrella of food, eating, nutrition:

“When can I eat next?”

“What will I eat next?”

My running (it’s all tied in):

“How far did I run today?”

“How far tomorrow?”

“How many calories am I ‘allowed’ today?”


And spare a thought for the families/loved ones of OCD sufferers! It ain’t easy living with OCD sufferers!

At meal times, when we’re eating together, I disappear mentally all the time, counting, calculating, I stare at the food, do the calcs, before spooning some whatever onto my plate, I walk around muttering numbers to myself….the big problem is that the calcs can be easy, simply maths, small numbers, should only take a fraction of a sec to do them, but my brain doesn’t accept the calcs, I have to go over them again and again and again and again and again until my brain, my mind, my consciousness, finally accepts the numbers! Believe me, that can be infuriating for those around me and it can floor me! And that’s just in the matter of food! Then there’s the running, constantly thinking about it, working out runs, distances, calorie-burn…. and then there are the other areas of my life, over-thinking, over-thinking, over-thinking, going on about things, over and over and over again…

My wife, and children, they exemplify, personify, tolerance and understanding!

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