‘Wake up in the morning, sun outside,
but inside, it’s pouring,
not fully awake, mentally still snoring,
nothing to gain from getting out of bed,
legs of lead,
it’s written in the frown on my face,
anxious about re-joining the human race.
nothing, except the darkness, is near,
my speaking, monotone,
feeling lonely, alone.
It’s just one of those days,
the sun’s rays invisible,
“Pull yourself together!”,
yeah, right, that’s risible!
I feel that the release is near,
I know that the day is in front of my eyes,
that the fog will lift,
that I shall have my day,
that I shall experience that gift,
today or tomorrow,
I know that the sorrow will go.
A run can do me a ton of good,
get me out of the maze,
the haze can dissipate,
it can allow me to feel the sun’s rays,
get me out of my malaise,
shoehorn me back into the day,
bring me back to life.
Then a shower, a coffee,
oh, and some music,
I choose it as my self-care tool,
I won’t be fooled,
I know that the dark thoughts do not reflect my reality,
that they are not me,
that the darkness, the disconnection, the stillness,
it’s an illness,
I just have to sit it out,
I know what it’s all about.
Need my pills for my ills,
but my meds, that stuff,
it’s not enough,
I must try,
make a start,
and though it’s tough,
and I feel rough,
I need to make a physical effort.
I take my meds,
I run, sleep good,
eat the right food,
don’t allow myself to get irate,
into a huff,
it’s not easy,
it can be tough.
I get into a place of gratitude,
the right attitude,
fixate on the positive,
not the negative.
I just have to remind myself that it’s an illness,
that it passes,
that it’ll go,
that the show will go on.
I know that I’ll always have my ups and downs,
that I can’t everyday frolic like a clown,
everyone has their cross to bear,
plain sailing is extremely rare!
I’m blessed that my malaise lifts
– it always does;
compared to some people’s ills,
that’s a gift!
The black sky always turns blue,
I’m always renewed,
I always come back,
it’s a fact on which I can rely for my peace of mind,
I know that I’ll find it.
I know that if I remain rational,
if I’m patient,
if I just sit it out,
I’ll be back, out and about,
I’ll be able to re-join the human race,
and a genuine smile will be back on my face.
And if it’s not today,
if today is lost,
tomorrow might be the day
on which I can say that I can see again,
today, tomorrow, the next day,
I know that that ray of sunshine will get through,
that I shall see a-new,
that I’ll get my release,
that I’ll have peace,
just a matter of time,
I’ll be fine!’