I’M BACK!

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“Yesterday’s mood was grey,

the sun’s rays weren’t getting through,

another run was called for,

always is when the feeling is raw.

It worked magically,

radically,

real change,

across a range of my emotions,

it broke the depression,

stopped my regression in its tracks,

got me off the rack.

The lifting of the weight was tangible,

palpable.

Suddenly. I felt lighter,

brighter,

that metamorphosis

is one of life’s great feelings,

when I stop reeling,

when I no longer feel like I’m going to keel over.

The load of the depression so weighed me down the day before 

that I couldn’t run,

my legs were like crates of lead,

I felt dread,

but, yesterday, I had my running feet back,

I wanted to run,

it was almost fun.

I smashed the depression,

I can’t think of the expression….

I rocked it!

It’s hard to find the words to do justice to the feeling,

such is the welcome pleasure of that treasure,

the relief,

the release,

the sense of freedom,

liberation and peace,

it’s like getting a new lease of life!

Life’s a rollercoaster for everyone,

I’ll fall again,

but then I’ll rise again.

I’ll make hay whilst the sun shines,

remind myself of the importance of living life to the full,

and when I fall again,

I’ll try to remember these moments of release,

not to lose my belief 

in the temporary nature of my depression episodes,

I’ll try to tell myself that I neither implode not erode,

that it always passes,

I’ll try, try, try, to see life through rose-tinted glasses,

I’ll try to remain rational,

not to fall victim to my dark, irrational thoughts,

not to get felled by the illness,

not to get lost in the disconnected stillness…

Easier said than done

but a run, my meds, the right diet, sleep and music

usually do the trick,

given time.”

Koby

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